Working in this sort of place, getting hit on is just part of the territory. You expect it from everyone because, eventually, even the most platonic customers will get shitfaced enough to confess their undying love for you. It doesn’t help being the only woman in the bar, but it isn’t just the men and they certainly are not the most aggressive!
Meet Celia, a quiet girl, she comes in with a few friends here and there, drinks a glass of cranberry juice and minds her own business. Then last Saturday, out of nowhere, she decided to match shots with her girls. Bad idea, she could not hang! Three Pink Pussies later and she was perched at the bar, tweeting my ears off until I went for a smoke break. But I still couldn’t get away, she followed me outside and that’s when she attacked me, pulled me onto her lap and tried to stick her tongue in my ear.
It was funny enough at the time, but now that she is back at the rail again, two Washington Apples down the hatch, I am a little worried that she might make a thing of it. For now she is droning on, god knows about what: her purse dog, shoe collection, favorite musicians, favorite Kardashian, blah, blah, blah, I’m not really listening. I just want her to shut up. She orders another drink and saunters off to the wash room. I grab Charlie’s economy size Visine from next to the register. I always chalked the bartenders’ revenge up to urban myth, but figure it will be worth a try to get this girl to stop talking without sucking on my face first.
A few people come in and sit down at the lottery machines and I forget about the Visine as I make white Russians and cash tickets for the guys at the machines. But when one o’clock rolls around and they leave for home and their impatient wives, she is still here. Talking at me, smiling like she already knows what my pussy tastes like, until all of a sudden her eyes roll back in her head, she slides off of the bar stool and drops to the floor.
Want to know what happens next? Stay tuned for Part 2, coming 10/25/2013. Part One will appear as a teaser in the debut issue of Serrated Roses, releasing the same day