“There’s a Bug in My Drink!”

“Bartender! OH Bartender!”

It’s so annoying when people think my name is Bartender. And it’s even more annoying when they try to beckon me by saying it in a sing song voice, with a curl of their finger.

“Bartender! There’s a bug in my drink.”

Ah, shit. Fruit flies. They happen even in the best of places. Just one can find a glass of red wine from across a restaurant. But this isn’t the best of places and there are way more than just one. When I came in today they were in the kitchen, the bathroom, even the corner where one too many drunks have puked. Now they’re even in people’s drinks.

I pour the finger curler a fresh one to no avail. There’s another one. And another. I hold the bottle of raspberry vodka up for a look. Fuck! There are five more inside.

Of course it doesn’t stop at fruit flies. Last week I was vacuuming and picked up what I thought was a piece of paper, except it stuck to my hand when I tried to throw it in the trash. When I looked closer there was a picture of a black cat and a dead rodent on the back of the paper. Apparently Charlie knows we have a lot bigger problems than the swarm of gnats that have invaded our liquor supply.

Which, by the way, I get to filter out of all the flavored rums, vodkas and sweet liqueurs. Think about that the next time you’re sucking down a Malibu Bay Breeze.


2 thoughts on ““There’s a Bug in My Drink!”

  1. Years ago I was a barmaid, so my name was “Waitress!” or “Hey, Barmaid,” so I get where you’re coming from. But we didn’t have a problem with fruit flies. Only fruit cakes. In the form of drunk customers…

    Thanks for dropping by my site. I appreciate it!

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